Why I Prefer Monster Movies Over Chick Flicks by Scott M. Baker

Anyone who knows me also knows how true the above statement is.  I would rather be water boarded than have to watch a chick flick.  The level of discomfort is about the same, but by law I can only be water boarded for more than forty-five seconds.

So why am I starting this thread?  I was channel surfing last night when I came across my least favorite chick flick of all time -- Sleepless in Seattle.  Now before everyone comments on how unromantic I am, let me explain.  Although it is well produced movie with a phenomenal cast, the plot always makes me insane because it so insipid and unrealistic.  Annie Reed (Meg Ryan) falls in love with Sam Baldwin (Tom Hanks) after hearing him on a radio talk show sharing his grief over the death of his wife.  Annie has never met Sam and what little she knows of him she obtained through the talk show.  And did I mention that's engaged to Walter (Bill Pullman), her adoring but straight-laced fiancee who treats her like a princes and loves hear dearly?  Despite all this, Annie breaks off her engagement with Walter during dinner in New York (which he is surprisingly okay with) and rushes to the Empire State Building hoping to find her true love.  And she does ala An Affair to Remember.  Annie and Sam walk off together and live happily ever after, and most of the women I know think it's the most romantic movie of the past twenty years.

Gag!

Let's try an alternate universe version of the move and see if we get the same results.  We'll call it Insomnia in Indianapolis.  Sam falls in love with Annie after hearing her on a radio talk show sharing her grief over the death of her husband.  Sam has never met Annie and what little she knows of him she obtained through the talk show.  Sam is engaged to an adoring but straight-laced fiancee (let's call her Cameron) who treats him like a prince and loves him dearly.  Despite this, Sam breaks off his engagement with Cameron during dinner in New York (which she is surprisingly okay with) and rushes to the Empire State Building hoping to find his true love. Do you think it would still be considered a romantic comedy?  They'd have to change the name to Dastardly in Denver.

Thankfully I clicked onto the SyFy Channel a few seconds later and was able to numb the mind with some movie about a mega three-headed shark versus a sixteen-armed octopus, or something like that.

Sure, a lot of people fall in love with someone they've met over the Internet or in chat rooms, which is today's version of talk radio.  I know that for a fact.  But Annie leaves her fiancee sitting by himself in a restaurant to meet another man, and that's considered romantic?  I don't think so.

That's why I prefer monster movies because there is where you find true love and devotion.  You don't believe me?  The Creature from the Black Lagoon was gunned down (in two movies, no less) because of his affections for the fairer sex.  How many times was the Mummy set on fire by angry townsfolk for merely wanting to reunite with his one true love?  And let's not forget about the greatest monster of them all -- Frankenstein.  When his bride shunned him, did he go onto talk radio and whine about it, or join a support group?  No.  He blew up the lab with himself in his bride still in it. 

Now that's the type of love you don't find in chick flicks.